It's Clearly Smuggling

I just received a rather interesting phone call from Humayun. His Biology practical paper, scheduled for 8:45 AM today, ran into...complications. Apparently, the actual physical manifestation of the paper was absent. The lab was there, the students were there - hell, they even had some actual knowledge - but in the place of the paper was a rather conspicuous paper-shaped emptiness.

'Twas, I am told, the vacuum that brought joy.

Further investigation revealed that the paper was, and had been for the last ten days, in the hands of the Indian Customs service. The school had been desperately attempting to get its hands on it, but, to the joy of our Humayun, to no avail. Now, it seems, the exam has been indefinitely post-poned. All of us who know the man personally shall be seeing a lot more of Humayun online this week.

I have a Chemistry practical exam the day after tomorrow. Is it too much to hope that it was on the same flight as the ill-fated Biology paper?

For All You Zaurusy Folks Out There

In obvious proof of my computing supremacy, I have decided to type this post out from my PDA of choice, the Sharp Zaurus 5600. Its a ridiculously lovely machine, and over the past couple of days, I've made it an object truly worthy of sexual intimacy.

First of all, I flashed it to a new ROM, Watapon. Then, utlizing the new ext2-formatted 330 meg SD card donated unto me by my most-generous father, I downloaded and installed several programs. The highlights:

• A Doom 1 engine
• ScummVM (and, on the SD card, the classic Day of the Tentacle)
• A screen rotation plugin
• Mplayer
• Opera 7.55
• Gutenbrowser (to download and read ebooks from Project Gutenberg)
  
• Hancom Word
  

Ok, so maybe it isn't that impressive when you spell it out. But its an ongoing project! I'm going to have the sexiest palmtop in the world, I tell you.

That is, until I earn enough cash to buy an SL-6000 or a C3000. Which is, in effect, never. Sigh.

And now, a short message from our sponsors (Humayun and...well, that's about it):

lofl!

I, Sadly, Do Not Have a Funny Pic

Death by vapourisation. Google pitches in with this fine summary:

• annihilation by vaporizing something
• the process of becoming a vapor

I especially enjoyed the former. It combines the blatantly obvious with grammar on the verge of going bad, much like you might find here. I digress, however.

Clearly, this method involves some pain, not to mention being incredibly difficult to pull off. The chief hassle is staying alive whilst your body melts (this isn't Death by melting, eh?). To that end, I would suggest:

• Reading North and South. That book has voodoo powers.
• Reading Gadadhar's blog. You'll keep your life just to take his.
• Fellatio. You'll stay alive in most cases (read below).

This is clearly a comprehensive list. You are now a few facts richer.

And now, a Statuatory Warning from the government that Remembered Poland (TM): Vapourize responsibly. Don't leave a mess for others to clean up.

Death, In All Its Myriad Forms

An, ahem, interesting read.

Of particular interest, under the category Love and Sex:

2. Bleeding to death after a girl bites it off during fellatio.

A particularily American ailment, one would think.

Chemistricus Examinux

Recent studies have shown that the sub-species "Easinus" of the species Examinux, belonging to the genus Chemistricus, does indeed exist.

Scientists all over the world are shocked.

Previously thought to be simply another fictitious beast, invented to fill the conceptual void between the chaos of nature and the human mind's call for order, the animal was found nestled in the herds of its rather more common cousin, the highly unpopular and unpleasant Chemistricus Examinux Painintheassus. The newly discovered animals are visually very similar to their cousins; however, as on-going examination reveals, they are rather unique creatures.

Fundamentalists all over the world are pointing to its existence as clinching proof of a higher being. Some evolutionists, however, have countered by claiming that if He exists, and if He deliberately conjured limited numbers of this beast, and vast numbers of its cousin, then He has a rather sadistic turn of mind.

The Pope, needless to say, was not amused.

Investigation is continuing and we hope to learn more about these fascinating and rare beasts.

Back

Of late, my life has been strangely bereft of all the little luxuries to which, I admit, I have been accustomed. It has been a period of quiet contemplation, in which I have pondered long and hard on how privileged I am. And, as the darkness gave way to the light of dawn, my mind revealed unto me a singular conclusion:

Me. Wanna. Gadgets.

And it was good.

Well, 12 hours on, the electricity is back, the net is working, and I'm a happy man. A spoilt little brat, and loving every minute of it.

Enlightenment DR17

We all like pretty things (and I'm not talking about your landlord's daughter here), and computing has finally come of an age where prettiness is no longer an added extra, but instead quite standard. You know what I mean - resolutions so high that pixelization is just a bad memory, computers beefy enough to crunch numbers and make them look good at the same time, users finnicky enough to ask for environments that don't look like Windows 95 again, please. Its a good age to be in, but when do we actually seriously begin to reap the results? Sure, XP is colourful and usable, and KDE and GNOME outdo each other everyday, reaching new heights in free desktop sexiness. But we all know that ain't truly pretty - just fresh icing on an old cake. What's happening?

The essential problem is that most computing interfaces today are built upon old interfaces - a sort of a 'make it higher, make it higher!' methodology. Windows's GUI, I suspect, still has remnants (at the very least) of the Win95 code. Linux is, of course, encumbered by the old X implementations - a problem temporarily alleviated by XOrg. And KDE and GNOME, as interfaces, remain very close to their original design philosophies. This is, note, not a BAD thing. It's just not the revolutionary direction needed. Great new features can be found in each release of KDE, GNOME and yes, even the Windows GUI - userland features, to be more specific. These are, however, more in the vein of improvements than anything else. Major improvements, incredibly useful improvements (its now IMPOSSIBLE to go back to Win98 or KDE 2.0), but improvements nonetheless. In the words of The Who, the Music Must Change.

The good news is, it IS changing. Longhorn is promising some serious droolworthyness with Aero (though, IMHO, it still LOOKS like Windows. Like, the same design ethic, again). More excitingly, the open source world is coming up with projects such as Xgl, Cairo, Enlightenment, Luminocity (a test WM, but worth mentioning nonetheless)...projects that are really pushing userland interfaces forward. Cairo, to me, seems the most revolutionary - the shift from raster graphics to vector graphics and its greater flexibility is something so geekily exciting that I think I just wet my digital underpants (do you have a pair?). However, it's going to take some time until Cairo, or even Xgl, comes into mainstream userland. And Longhorn, for all you M$-people out there, is still at least a year and a half away.

What IS here right now is Enlightenment's 17th Development Release, possibly the most eagerly awaited DR of any program (Enlightenment, for the unenlightened, is a window manager for linux that is well known for its eyecandy). Well, its only here in CVS format, and is under very active development, but that's still something tangible. And tangible it is - Rasterman and his team have put together (or rather, are putting together) the most mouth-watering interface I have ever used. It's a treat for the eyes, it is - and getting better every week. Don't take my word for it - head on over to get-e.org and look around. There is a fantastic user guide here, translated into a plethora of different languages. If you're running a Linux box, get it. Instantly.

This is all still technology in progress. Even Enligtenment is only partially-functional - I find myself drawn to the excellent KDE 3.4 for functionality. It's going to take some time, but our desktops are going to get a lot nicer, graphics-wise. Current interfaces are functional to the nth-degree, but when it comes to eyecandy, they're decidedly the old generation.

Go on. Get Enlightened.

Names.

Zebediah Plush. A rather nice name. It rolls off your tongue, is easily recallable, and sounds pretty darn classy - all without actually having a meaning I'm aware of. Zebediah Plush is a Bangalore-based rock band, with its musical roots embedded deep in old-style rock. More to the point, it is one of only two Bangalore bands that I actually find musical.

The rest are...well, maybe a couple of catchy riffs here and there, a nice tune once in a while, but mainly sustained, consistent mediocrity (the few I've heard, anyway). Covers that don't excite me, shredding that makes my head throb....I certainly wouldn't make it a point to follow them.

But Zebediah Plush....how cool is it when a band, made of men (and one woman) in their 20s, steps out onto a stage and plays Emerson, Lake and Palmer's Fanfare for the Common Man? And not just plays it, but gives it a unique touch, a little lilt that's all their own. This band is absolutely the greatest thing since Thermal and a Quarter (another....ahem, interesting name). And - finally - they've released an album - Afterlaughs. I'm going to pick it up tomorrow, so I'll post some views then.

Keep this in mind, though - I've only heard them live once. The impression they made in that one hour was pretty goddamn favourable. An entire album sounds rather orgasmic.

Nokia 770

OMFG

I NEED one of these things.

Linux based, open-sourced development environment, wifi, widescreen. Sigh.

Just as I'm about to enter a period of consistent lack of funds, this pops up. Lovely.

Two Steps Ahead of You

When it comes to pseudo-work, don't even try to outdo me. I have:

a) 4 Firefox tabs displaying the wonders of chemistry.
b) Macbeth at my feet (literally. I'd love to be speaking figuratively, though).
c) Chemistry file, with all of its gravitational-wobble-inducingness, not three feet away.

And what have I accomplished, with such vast resources? Revamped the links section of the blog, that's what. It is the way of the geek.

My existence trembles at the merest whisper of sanity. Somewhere, somehow, this will make sense.

In the meantime, check out the new links section. It's not much, but it's the small things that make one happy. More or less.

Thursday Mourning

Awake, being messaged incessantly by that man (you know, that one), head unable to focus. Three - THREE - exams tomorrow and the foul stench of death in the air.

Its days like these that make me feel like a homicidal psycho jungle cat.

I'll just let Humayun spam a bit more. He's quite good at it, and is a significantly better writer than I (a point proved rather succintly by a little yellow piece of paper in his possession). Plus, I can't think of anything to say.

Humayun?

Our Little Corner of Insanity

That stupid git has no clue. No clue at all.

I really should not be online, having a chemistry exam soon and whatnot, so I'll just remind the universe of my (rabbit-enclosed?) existence, and get the hell out of here.

So, this is our little corner of insanity. When we're old and toothless and invalid, we'll look back upon this page and...well, Humayun would probably spam it to death again, but who knows? Perhaps age will conquer stupidity. I wouldn't hold my breath, though.

This blog has yet to really start. The layout will probably be changed a few hundred times, and even more random posts appear. We certainly won't be nudging out Engadget any time soon. Or even my LJ, for that matter. But patience, good reader, patience. It shall come together (cue Beatles).

pH = pKw - pOH. Did you know that? You can have my knowledge - I don't want it.

Hello.

Test.